I could not help calling out: “Tell me!” But then they ran away. I wondered what grudge these children could have against me to make them behave like this. Chao’s while their faces too were ghastly pale. A group of children in front were also discussing me, and the look in their eyes was just like that in Mr. I was not afraid, however, but continued on my way. The fiercest among them grinned at me whereupon I shivered from head to foot, knowing that their preparations were complete. There were seven or eight others, who discussed me in a whisper. Chao had a strange look in his eyes, as if he were afraid of me, as if he wanted to murder me. This morning when I went out cautiously, Mr. Tonight there is no moon at all, I know that this bodes ill. Otherwise why should that dog at the Chao house have looked at me twice? I begin to realize that during the past thirty-odd years I have been in the dark but now I must be extremely careful. I have not seen it for over thirty years, so today when I saw it I felt in unusually high spirits. As for the title, it was chosen by the diarist himself after his recovery, and I did not change it. I have not altered a single illogicality in the diary and have changed only the names, even though the people referred to are all country folk, unknown to the world and of no consequence. Certain sections, however, were not altogether disconnected, and I have copied out a part to serve as a subject for medical research. The writing was most confused and incoherent, and he had made many wild statements moreover he had omitted to give any dates, so that only by the colour of the ink and the differences in the writing could one tell that it was not written at one time. I took the diary away, read it through, and found that he had suffered from a form of persecution complex. “I appreciate your coming such a long way to see us,” he said, “but my brother recovered some time ago and has gone elsewhere to take up an official post.” Then, laughing, he produced two volumes of his brother’s diary, saying that from these the nature of his past illness could be seen, and that there was no harm in showing them to an old friend. Some time ago I happened to hear that one of them was seriously ill, and since I was going back to my old home I broke my journey to call on them, I saw only one, however, who told me that the invalid was his younger brother. Two brothers, whose names I need not mention here, were both good friends of mine in high school but after a separation of many years we gradually lost touch.
6 Diary of a Madman – Lu Xun Diary of a Madman
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